I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
