i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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