everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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