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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...

  (1-405): View more from Oklahoma

  Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck

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• (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things

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• (912): View more from Georgia

  I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not

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• (516): View more from New York

  WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.

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