please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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