well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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