do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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