god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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