I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I want her autograph on my taint
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
