He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
