walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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