I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
