I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
