he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
it was like eating out sand paper
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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