I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
