Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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