i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
So. Much. Porn.
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