I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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