you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
