Im at strip club and am horny
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
