whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
