I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
