dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
