I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
