I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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