ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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