found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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