Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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