Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
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