I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
