My balls are so social today.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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