...so i touched it.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
