Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
