i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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