I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You ruined the universe
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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