I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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