are you so shy because you have an std?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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