nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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