dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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