Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
can u get pink eye on your cock?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Randomize
