I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
