Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
