do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Randomize
