all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
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