She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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