garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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