3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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