Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
