sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
