wat bout pragnant strippers??
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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