so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
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