Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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