It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
