you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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