sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
