am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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