nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
two words: eviction party
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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