I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
