Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
