i'm lost and i look like a hooker
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize